and my heart lately is growing fonder and fonder of living a healthy lifestyle (that I have, unfortunately, been absent from the last couple of weeks). I have put my determination to get healthy on a shelf somewhere and promptly forgot about it (or was in denial of seeing it stare me in the face?). I shake my fist at myself and say, "WHY did you let such great habits once again slip through your fingers?" I sulk and scold myself all at the same time.
Things outside of my blogging/healthy living researching/Sparkpeople participating life has been going by at a very high speed, and it's only now I am catching my breath and realizing that I am WAY off course. I haven't gained any weight back (not one pound - as odd as that is) but I am also not exercising or putting much effort into what I'm eating. These aren't excuses - I chose to make really bad choices about how to handle these situations, and that's WHY I am not in the shape I was a couple of weeks ago.
And you know what? I miss it.
Lately I've noticed a familiar feeling of being enslaved to food again - like I have to constantly satisfy my cravings or go crazy. I think it's the carbs talking, I really do. I was easily passing up many tempting choices, but now I can't seem to let them go by - telling myself all sorts of lies to make each step off the plan "not a big deal"
I also miss my daily strolls to clear my head, and yet I am looking for excuses not to exercise. I had been pushing myself and building my confidence. I came home sore almost every night, and woke up most mornings feeling well rested and ready to take on another day. Where has that enthusiasm gone? C'mon brain! Get it together!
Tomorrow I pick up the pieces. Not as in tomorrow-so-I-can-stuff-my-face-tonight kind of tomorrows, but really there's not much left of the evening, and I don't have any dangerous food around, so I guess I'm starting tonight. Tomorrow, however, is when I make my routine a priority once again. I just have to keep going.